As I wrote in a previous post, I describe compassion as tender, courageous, and wise. Tender compassion seems so commonly understood that I will save it for a later post. What is most often misunderstood about compassion is the necessity for wisdom. Yet it is not a wisdom born from egocentricity but from awareness of reality. Wisdom allows us to see beyond the surface appearance of things and grasp what is most helpful.
Many people think of compassion as just being nice all the time. This is why one cannot be compassionate without wisdom. We need to move beyond niceness to what is really important and helpful to another person. The core self one with God can see the most effective response which is both wise and loving. It’s not “idiot compassion” [1] which is defined as avoiding conflict, letting people walk all over you, taking action in order to “look good,” or fear of taking action because of what others might think.
Philosopher Ken Wilber says, “Real compassion includes wisdom and so it makes judgments of care and concern; it says some things are good, and some things are bad, and I will choose to act only on those things that are informed by wisdom and care….What most people mean by ‘compassion’ is please be nice to my ego.”[2]
Many great spiritual teachers have used the wisdom of compassion when asked questions from well-meaning students or the self-righteous. Often their response is paradoxical or metaphorical. This can stop the “brain freeze” of suffering in that it breaks habitual thought patterns and assumptions. This can be seen in Jesus’ telling Nicodemus that he must be born again. This compassionate response confused Nicodemus and in the ensuing dialogue Jesus moved him from confusion to spiritual wisdom. The Buddhist practice of koan study evokes wisdom such as the cow passing through the latticed window and all but the tail passes through. Why doesn’t the tail pass through?
When compassionate thinking is fused with compassionate feeling we move towards the position of wisdom. Wisdom emerges because we have deep insight into the nature of things.”[3]
“Compassion without wisdom can be misdirected and misguided. Wisdom allows us to see what the world is and how it works; compassion allows us to act appropriately on that knowledge.”[4]
Wisdom as a facet of compassion is an extensive topic and this is only meant to be an introduction to the concept. It is a key aspect and necessary to understanding contemplative compassion.
[1] Idiot Compassion is a term coined by Chogyam Trungpa Rimpoche.
[2] Wilber, K. (1999). One taste: The journals of Ken Wilber. Boston, Massachusetts: Shambhala Publications, Inc., page 93.
[3] Gilbert, P. (2007) “Using Compassion to Change our Minds” Appendix 7 in Psychotherapy and Counselling for Depression. London: Sage Publications.
[4] Miller, J.P. (2016) Julian and the Buddha, Common points along the way. Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock Publishers, page 172.
Contemplative Compassion 