Blog 6: Compassion is not a feeling
Compassion is not a feeling, yet we may have feelings and emotions while in the midst of its awareness. I find that the tender/kind aspect of compassion does create warm feelings inside me but that is not its motivation. Yes, compassion is a motivation not a feeling[1]. It is a manifestation of the divine spark within us. Feelings too often are egocentric rather than a joining with and manifesting the divine spark in our daily lives. This is why compassion can be a way of life, a way of being in our daily lives. It becomes the manifestation of all we do.
Even saying that, I know that we get distracted from this motivation. In western culture we are very focused on the individual. Our first response to everything tends to be, “what impact will this have on me and mine?” We are conditioned into this from a very early age. When compassion is our motivation it asks more of us. It asks us to be aware of our competing motivations and to have the courage to choose compassion even in difficult circumstances. Jesus tells us to “Love our enemies,”[2] and to “Love our neighbor as ourselves,”[3] yet this is very different from the dominant values and motivations in our culture and as humans it seems to be weaned out of us.
Yet, every religion has some language that encourages the follower to love their neighbor. Since it is such a dominant theme it must be possible for us to live compassionately. In order to set out on the Path of Compassion, one must first be aware and conscious of how often we are not compassionate; not as a way to judge ourselves or create shame, but to see the opportunities when we can choose a compassionate response. If you’ve ever wanted, like me, to be “non-judgmental” isn’t it amazing how it seems like all we do is judge! Yet, this is the silver lining of the cloud, to have the gift of sight so that one can see a way forward. Even to consider that there is a different response, a response of compassion, in any situation is a step on the path.
This week let us pause and consider our motivations. Is it an egocentric motivation or is another option available to us? And in this step, practice compassion for all our wayward ways knowing that God writes straight with crooked lines.[4]
[1] Gilbert, P. and Choden (2014) Mindful Compassion. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, p. 59.
[2] Luke 6:27
[3] Mark 12:31
[4] Attributed as an old Portuguese saying; I first became aware of this through a talk given by James Finley, Ph.D.
Contemplative Compassion 